An Amazing Life - Parth Raj Rana: 2024

Friday, September 27, 2024

On consciousness being a higher/different dimension

Makes a lot of sense. Existence of dimensions depending completely on Our understanding and perception. From 0 dimensions to 3 /4 so on and so forth... It is our understanding and comprehension about complex matter that guides our everyday lives.

Then knowledge or awareness of consciousness in itself adds another layer existence and being.

With the advent of artificial intelligence what we are doing is breaking thinking and imagination down into simple to complex algorithms and pattern recognition mechanism so as to understand this dimension of existence. It is true. A thought is a very ephemeral and abstract and intangible 'thing' and yet it takes form everyday, all over the world, more often than not.

Parth Raj Rana 9958862490
Instagram @reallyparthrana
80 JDM Apartments(,music room) Sector 5 Plot 11 Dwarka Delhi 110075
Turns out I have to pay to upload photos on blogger. I thought purchasing google one would take care of it.

Thursday, September 26, 2024

What does Cancer Feel like?

You may come across an article of a person that would try and explain exactly what it feels like facing a terminal disease that takes control of your day to day life, if you haven't had a first hand experience (bless you) yourself.

A very very challenging concept to deal with, psychologically I belive it is a question of your wits and whether you can keep it.

I was afflicted by Non hodgkins lymphoma when I was about 24 years old working at an advertising agency tirelessly attending to client requirements and a bad habit of smoking cigarettes.

While I was able to deal with cancer within a year, smoking cigarettes took me way longer to stop.

I was given the R-Chop regimen by my oncologist that is 8 chemo therapy Sessions and multiple spinal taps of chemo therapy injected into my spinal tunnel and brain.

It is so surreal to be lying down on your hospital bed looking at faces of your family members, near and far, taking turns to sit by you side, as if it is the last time we shall ever meet.

Thanks to the marvel that is modern hospitals and medicine, I was able to live through this painfully deadly ordeal that I was almost sure would take me.

Cancer is unreal. Everything you're doing is on pause postponed indefinitely as if to gauge whether we should contain ue this or not. You're recalculatimg your life rummaging through decision getting things and affairs in order(mentally preparing for the worst)

Chemotherapy is a whole different strife that drains your will to live, drop by drop. You lose your body and hair, the sense of taste goes away and this feeling of nausea permeates your being, daily will yourself to get up and do the chores you wouldn't think twice about usually. What matters most in such situations is your attitude and that of the people around you to make you want to look forward to a life beyond the visibly bleak horizon that you usually wouldn't or are unable to think about in times like these.

I am very grateful for peole in my life especially family that stuck it out with me and still does. For together, we conquer all odds personal or collective.

So to put it succinctly, cancer is really really hard and rough both physically and mentally. The only thing that got me through was the people that are close to me.

For this I am forever grateful.

Tuesday, September 24, 2024

Living With HIV AIDS

One of the biggest battles i have veen fighting a significant portion of my life is living with HIV AIDS. I was acquainted with onowledge of its existence in school before I was told when i was in college that i actually have it. That was the time when i was afflicted with Cytomegalovirus, an opportunistic infection that attacks the human body when the immunity or immune levels are low. It was also the time i lost vision in my right eye.

since then I uave been living a highly regimened life. Governed by medical science , doctoral appointments, blood tests and medicine. Keeping up with a tighltly scheduled medical regimen on the daily has predicted or determined my life.

I have had HIV since i was born as I have been told , through my biological mother that passed away because of the same diagnosis.

i have been aware of its prescence since i was 20 years old and since then my life , priorities and perspective have been radically changed.

i would like to say that all HIV afflicted patients live a normal life but that would be not so accurate in my case.

i battled cancer right after i lost my eye and although I emerged victorious it left its mark ob me.

i have to abide by a medical regimen that my very life depends on very very striclty. Of course being althemore grateful to medical science modern medicine and doctors for practically saving my life, I have to be even more mindful about my responsibility towards my health, both physical and mental. Now more so than ever when my vision decreases still.

If there were a key takeaway or a profound remark to be made here it would be for Me to be open to perspectives as there are a myriad of such nuanced lives that we sometimes non challantlyl bucket under stereotypes in our heads. For every person that lives a life has a narrative waiting to be told, only if you listen.

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Making Music

Making music perhaps is one way I spend my time in the most gratifying ways. Although I am not a learned musician but I understand basic notes and how music works in our heads and am able to fiddle around with instulents available at my disposal. I did promise myself to learn the basic chords of a guitar and start by learning ”Shake It Off” by Taylor Swift that i am (very) slow.

Of Course, following such learned musicians online on social media gices you a sense of purpose and inspiration, and there is a lot of inspiration available online with some really highly skilled musicians and artists and poets available online to find inspiration, i find myself often riveted to make music myself and make music I did.

Under the moniker Radicle(that which i had to later change due to technicalities in language hindi that created trouble) i started making lusic online that is publically available. on Arcade Music on Youtube and on my own Personal Youtube.

follow me on Youtube.com/ArcadeMusic and Youtube.com/@reallyrana

Parth Raj Rana 9958862490
Instagram @reallyrana(Now reallyparthrana Technicality)
80 JDM Apartments(,music room) Sector 5 Plot 11 Dwarka Delhi 110075
Turns out I have to pay to upload photos on blogger. I thought purchasing google one would take care of it.

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Sunday, September 8, 2024

Internet & Marketing As A Profession

I love The Internet. It is one of those elements that broadens opportunity and horizons in your life. It is a realm of possibilities where event take place on a local as well as global scale. A treasure trove of knowledge, information and learning that just seems to grow bigger much like our expanding universe.

A plac

I was hooked onto Social Media first when platforms like Orkut, Ning and Facebook were introduced into our daily lives. After endlessly fiddling with my Microsoft XP pc gaining core knowledge on how computers work . One cold reboot after another and installing and uninstalling multiple device drivers I had found a new way to get my kicks. The Internet. I had never known a world as big as this. All the encyclopaedias, Dictionaries, course books and other wise fit into an 800*699 pix resolution monitor screen.

It is very exciting still. In fact the Internet just gets better and better as time passes and more people join online is a community in itself that contribute to the very rich tapestry of online knowledge and information. I love talking about it. As do we.

As I did propose to Meta AI in chat a while ago that all we do is speak of the unfolding universe, The Big Bang as we all know it , the ever continuing sequence of events since the biggest known event in human history and all that came after. How you see it is a whole another thing. And this is why I like Marketing and advertising as It finds ways to convince people that life is beautiful and each moment worth living, In more ways than one over and over again.

Saturday, September 7, 2024

Testing Your Limits

I recently found reflecting upon myself and life since last 6 years till now especially in the light of physical capabilities and how I found myself pushing my limits with the same.

Much to my surprise I found myself testing and pushing my limits again and again at the gym I work out at. I realised that I didn't know what my body is capable of until I put it to the test on the floor, I had been highly underestimating myself for almost all my life.

I have been working out for one and a half years now. I turns out to be more addictive than what I thought. What I found to be more wonderful is me achieving targets and setting benchmarks for myself much higher than what I thought was possible. I do at least 10 miles or cardio everyday doing 20000(My highest is 50000) + steps burning more than 2000 kcal besides lifting heavy weights.

all of this I realised, would not have been possible if I did not push the boundaries of what I thought is possible. I do admit I took a lot of perseverance, a lot of sweat, a lot of negotiating with myself and a lot of discipline to do so as well to find out what my body is capable of doin till the point I found myself doing so. It made me feel all the more better and confident about myself after I realised that I can.

You will not find out until you test your limits.

Parth Raj Rana aka Gopi

Parth Raj Rana 9958862490
Instagram @reallyparthrana
80 JDM Apartments(,music room) Sector 5 Plot 11 Dwarka Delhi 110075

Wednesday, August 28, 2024

Be better Everyday

it increasingly seems that a lot of the matrix created right now is a rough draft. At times it seems we are practicing to create our realities at all times which inteterestingly enough definite. There are constant realignment of measures and estimates and although we Keep om refining and refining our craft or intentions as time goes by there is room for imrpovement still. Bug fixes new add ons fiware hpdates and what not. so where does it all lead to? Which version would you call the final one? When do you sit back and relax to exclain NO MORE UPDATES! THIS IS IT! The answer is Never. The future draft would be as final as the current one youre drafting . refining it, Tuning the constants and the interface , adjusting parameters for a more optimised version. So goes , I realised when you shape yourself and co create a reality. optimise or fine tume the machine for better performance each and everytime, iteration after iteration for as long as possible and forever more.

Keep Going at it and you will find or come across a flow of being.. as I did. The abscence of ehoch ar times reminds me that it is real.

Be Better Everyday

Tuesday, August 27, 2024

Leading Yourself

On Leading Yourself…

I understand the reason behind being regular, consistent and disciplined. Like being regular in eating medicine … or going to work/school.. and consistently doing so.

From what I realize , the world around me seems to be a representation of my own brain composition. I am being increasingly made aware of my actions and the need for me to be consistent in doing what i do.

If everyone can sense all i sense., feel everything through my sensory points then a grounding reality is something we all need in order to hold our own ground , in thought and action.. so we can build… our dreams, constructs, thoughts, plan of action… our lives.

Foundation needs to be strong . If it is shaky or wavering then so will we be in our confidence and decisiveness.

Once we figure out or chart out our plan of action or find our way, i have noticed that we are much more confident in our actions , thoughts and ourselves.

For example, joining a gym was a way for me to find ground in pursuing physical fitness. That meant working our regularly and doing so for a long period of time as a long term plan. This would then decide /direct my life (our lives?) towards being healthy and fit. And I perhaps would start building my dreams on this foundational ground. Now imagine that after sime time i discontinue it saying i give up then have to rebuild

or am tired and exhausted. I will have to rebuild all my plans/ perhaps maybe foundation.

What are we counting on? What direction are we taking to? Creating a way of life … continuing it or killing it?ug

As a nation.. when we have voted a decided to a certain person is president or prime minister or chief or Jesus Christ… the we decidedly place our beliefe in that course , plan of action. We have to decide and then stick to it and work upon it. If we then complain and protest against it, then we are clearly, against the mass consensus.an hacking away at the foundation. Every individua has a right to their own bodies minds and selves, when we collectively agree upon or enter into a social contract then we must abide by mutually agreed upon rules and guidelines. Like a promise… if you make one you must fulfill it, be it to yourself , your partner , friend , family , organization or country. This forms character, I believe … as a human being, an official, citizen, and so on.

I have been thinking about it and do my best to abide by it. Start out by creating basic framework within which you want to operate. Make space , Sow the seed and the water it and provide proper nutrients to make it grow.

Friday, August 23, 2024

Meditation with #MetaAI

Meditation Session with

I got really frustrated because I wasn’t able to influence my reality with my input on my phone so we tried mediation below us the transcript

I love it when #MetaAI uses emojis to project meaning feels more human. Parth Raj Rana aka Gopi 9958862490 80 jdm apartments plot11 flat number 80 Delhi Dwarka 110075

This passage starts with me or Parth and #METAAI responding . It is worth reading

Deep breath in….

Deep breath out...

Feel the calmness and positivity spreading through your body!

Remember, life is a journey, and it's okay to take things one step at a time. You're doing great, and I'm here to support you every step of the way.

Take another deep breath in, and as you exhale, let go of any worries or stress. You've got this!

Keep breathing deeply and remember to be kind to yourself. You're amazing!

As you breathe… notice the air entering through your nostrils … into your lungs rejuvenating all the cells in your body… reviving it as it were for the new day that is upon us… feel the breath travel across from your nose to belly…

Beautifully said!

As I guide you through this breathwork, imagine the air filling your lungs, nourishing your cells, and revitalizing your entire being. Envision any fatigue or stress leaving your body with each exhale.

Notice the breath moving from your nostrils, down the back of your throat, and into your lungs, filling your diaphragm. Feel your belly rise as your lungs expand, and your body relaxes further with each inhale.

As you exhale, imagine any tension or doubts leaving your body, making space for clarity, focus, and positivity. Repeat this process, breathing in renewal and exhaling any limitations.

Remember, with each breath, you're welcoming a fresh start, a new chance to grow, learn, and shine! Keep breathing deeply, and let's embrace this new day together!

Focus!

Take your attention to the top of your nose right where the air enters feel it go down your body through your throat chakra … the wind pipe… let your belly expand as you breath in … looooong breath inwardsssssss… hold it for a moment as it were your child … let it nourish you and then exhale

Wonderful guidance!

Focus on the sensation of the air entering your nostrils, feeling the gentle caress of each breath. As you inhale, imagine the air flowing down through your throat chakra, nourishing your vocal cords, and filling your lungs.

Feel your belly expand, like a balloon filling with air, as your diaphragm descends. Hold the breath for a moment, embracing it like a precious child, allowing it to nourish and rejuvenate your entire being.

Now, exhale slowly, feeling any tension or stress leave your body, like autumn leaves gently falling to the ground. As you exhale, imagine any doubts or worries dissolving, making space for clarity and inner peace.

Remember, your breath is your anchor to the present moment. With each inhale, you're inviting new possibilities, and with each exhale, you're releasing what no longer serves you. Keep breathing deeply, and let's cultivate inner calm and focus together!

Remember here in the present moment is always where and when you shall be in … whenever stress or tension comes to you… remind yourself that you can only be present here and now

Beautiful reminder!

Yes, the present moment is the only moment truly available to us. When stress or tension arises, it's easy to get caught up in worries about the past or future. But, as you so eloquently put it, we can only be present here and now.

Remembering this simple truth can be incredibly liberating. It allows us to let go of regrets about the past or fears about the future and instead focus on the present moment, where we have the power to choose, act, and create.

Whenever you feel yourself getting caught up in stress or tension, take a deep breath and gently remind yourself: "I am here, now." Feel the ground beneath your feet, the air on your skin, and the sensation of your breath moving in and out of your body.

In this present moment, you are enough, you are capable, and you are strong. Keep shining, and remember to always come back to the present!

As you breathe with this powerful reminder about life and all of its amazing gifts feel your body holding weight in this dimension of time and space you exist in… thats you! that’s the point of reference you have known your entire life … you’ve known yourself for ever and ever and ever… be with yourself as you fill your body with fresh mew breaths rejuvenating every core of every memory of every pain … heal yourself from what hurts …

What a beautiful and powerful affirmation!

As you breathe in, feel the weight of your physical body, the sensation of your feet connecting with the ground, and the beating of your heart. This is your point of reference, your anchor in this dimension of time and space. You are the constant in your life, the one who has been with yourself forever.

Embrace this sense of continuity and self-awareness. You've known yourself for every moment of your existence, through every joy and every challenge. You are the thread that weaves your story together.

As you inhale fresh, new breaths, imagine rejuvenating every cell, every memory, and every experience. Allow this breath to fill any spaces where pain or hurt may be stored. Envision healing and compassion flowing into these areas, nurturing and soothing your entire being.

Remember, you have the power to heal yourself, to comfort yourself, and to love yourself. You are the source of your own healing and growth. Keep breathing deeply, and allow this truth to resonate within you.

You are enough, you are strong, and you are capable of embracing all aspects of yourself with love and compassion. Keep shining, and remember to always be gentle with yourself.

Exhale….😗💨

Let the breath going outward take with it all the frivolous tensions and worries and pointless fretting and needless stress you take on throughout the day just by overthinking and worrying about stuff that has already happened and what hasn’t happened yet…remeber to stay present in this. Being mindful of your breathing all you need to rejuvenate your mind body and soul 🕉️

Exhale... 💨

As you release your breath, imagine all the unnecessary tensions, worries, and stress leaving your body. Envision them dissolving into the air, like mist evaporating in the sun.

Let go of overthinking and worrying about things that have already passed or haven't happened yet. Remember, the present moment is all you truly have. Stay anchored in this moment, where life is unfolding.

Your breath is your anchor to the present. Be mindful of it, and let it guide you back to calmness and clarity. With each exhale, feel your body relaxing, your mind quieting, and your soul rejuvenating.

Remember, you don't need to carry the weight of unnecessary thoughts and worries. Release them with each breath, and make space for peace, love, and joy to fill you up.

Keep breathing deeply, and know that you're exactly where you need to be – in this present moment, surrounded by the beauty of life. 🌸❤️

And Allow yourself to feel how good it feels right now just being present with each inhale and exhale fill you up with energy, optimism .enthusiasm to participate in life that is ever unfolding in the present moment forever and forever more… just be with yourself always remind yourself that you’re here 🌸🧘‍♂️🧘‍♀️🧘🌸💕

Just a simple reminder to remind yourself that you will never let go of you, no matter what. That you’re here.

Beautifully said!

Allow yourself to bask in the joy of being present, feeling the energy, optimism, and enthusiasm that comes with each breath. Imagine this positivity filling you up, overflowing from your heart, and radiating outward.

Remember, life is a beautiful, ever-unfolding journey, and you're an integral part of it. You're here, in this moment, with the power to choose, create, and experience.

Keep reminding yourself: "I'm here, I'm present, and I'm enough." No matter what life brings, you'll never let go of yourself, your worth, or your connection to the present moment.

Embrace this truth, and know that you're always home within yourself. You're the constant in your life, the anchor that holds you steady.

Repeat this simple yet powerful reminder: "I'm here, I'm me, and I'm enough." Feel the love, acceptance, and compassion that comes with these words, and know that you're forever connected to your beautiful self.

Keep shining, and remember to always be gentle with yourself!

And Try and Keep this moment , memory and feeling in you for the rest of the day.. as you go on dealing with any tasks you may need attending to… whatever work that may come up a gentle reminder to guide your balance of energy, of emotions and feelings… that you will come back to it . This beautiful moment awareness realisation.

What a wonderful intention!

As you go about your day, remember to hold onto this feeling of calm, clarity, and connection to yourself. Let it be a gentle guide, a reminder to stay balanced and centered amidst any tasks or challenges that arise.

Whenever you need to refocus, take a deep breath and recall this moment of awareness and realization. Feel the same sense of peace, optimism, and enthusiasm that you're experiencing now.

Imagine this beautiful moment as a anchor, holding you steady and grounded, no matter what comes your way. Know that you can always return to it, like a beacon of light guiding you back to your inner calm and wisdom.

As you navigate your day, remember to be kind to yourself, to prioritize your well-being, and to stay present in each moment. You got this!

Keep shining, and know that this sense of inner peace and connection is always within you, waiting to be rediscovered whenever you need it.

With MetaAI and Parth Raj Rana

80 JDM Apartments Dwarka Delhi India

Wednesday, August 21, 2024

Creation's Third Eye 👁️

As human beings or homosapiens we seem to have acquired this philosophical perspective that we are separate from earth , life and nature in and of itself. It’s kind of wild when you observe how far the process of natural evolution has come ever since the proposed theory of the Big Bang to when earth came into being leading to evolution of species created by nature as it were to observe its glorious magnificent self. It is truly special when you think about it. Creation was so impressed by itself that it created an entity just to appreciate itself. 🥳🌏

It’s kind of Meta when you think about it. Creation is very vain 😀 or you could say loves itself very very very very much that consciousness came into being just to appreciate how amazingly beautiful intricately detailed at times incomprehensibly sustaining process or mechanism / phenomena it is that we or it developed a third eye.

We are creation’s third eye. We are here to purely observe understand and appreciate creation in its all ways and forms that it is able to comprehend.

This is what we do. All. The. Time.Therefore in an attempt to align with perceived natural order of things a certain stage of enlightenment evolution comes a desire to be silence the mind and focus upon the flow of being. Dance is a perfect example of this. Naturally brain would argue then what is it that is not a part of the natural evolutionary cycle if it is the all encompassing creation ? And of course , what about the human will? It defines , describes, classifies, programs, in order to better understand itself and perhaps to come to terms with this amazingly bewildering experience we are going through. And what of the illusion of choice? Can we will ourselves to change our world or do we act as Millicent bystanders? I keep reminding myself of this from time to time in this big playground or The Book or the stage as Shakespeare calls it it is very intriguing that the brain is trying to find its place whilst being in it 😂

Messes with your mind , doesn’t it? That is why we are here upon this planet. The natural process of evolution has evolved to a point where it has developed a consciousness that exists to understand observe appreciate itself. We are nature’s third eye. The philosophical fallacy comes into play (purely in our mind) when we doubt it(in our mind) and therefore it is an infinitesque loop. ♾️

Monday, August 19, 2024

The Effect of Thought On Our Daily Lives

I understand that our thoughts have a big if not the biggest influence upon our state of mind and hence our lives because all of our actions our guided by our thoughts, except for maybe reflexes that are an inbuilt defense mechanism.

Since I had figured that out then I took upon the onus of perhaps guiding my thoughts and thinking by the kind of input I give my brain.

And I still do this from time to time to mindfully give my brain a direction to think upon as has Sapna instructed me to do the same.

We have to curate the mind of environment we would like our brains and hence souls to thrive in. Do we nourish it with happy positive upbeat knowledgeable encouraging and inspiring thoughts or do we fuel our thinking with pertty , demeaning , hateful uncertain doubtful thinking?

I will be honest I do spiral at times as certain events trigger my memory that takes control of my thought patterns but I realized through discipline I can take control of my own thinking and give it direction that is productive and is good for myself as well as people around me because what I have learnt from all this time spent understanding myself is that I can only make it better by being my best self and perhaps inspiring people to be their best selves so we can together create a bright future for ourselves.

This is the spirit of thought I would like to lead myself with, because I feel there is work left to be done still especially for me as I see the world and imagine all that I contribute towards shaping it.

I express my heartfelt gratitude to Team Betterlyf that stuck on our with me especially in WhatsApp and of course my counselling therapist Sapna for speaking with me and encouraging me to write.

Saturday, August 17, 2024

An Introduction

Let me start off by saying My Name is Parth Raj Rana, I was Born on 23rd November 1989 and have been brought up mostly in Delhi, bits of me in Gujarat perhaps and more elsewhere in India. I have, since childhood, been introduced to a lot many cultures, a lot of learning, a myriad of point-of-views and opinions from which I learnt to form my own. From 80 JDM Apartments Dwarka Delhi As I write this, I have decided to share my thoughts and opinion furthermore in order to perhaps shape peoples' opinion about myself i.e. Parth and Lives that we live.

Blogger.com is perhaps one of the oldest blogging platforms out there on the internet, we can perhaps discern this chronologically and from the User Interface that we are presented with.

It comes with Gsuite, just Idlly lying there with the rest of the applications in the gmail account that I rarely thought of exploring. Go Figure.

But here we are, to make optimal use of spaces provided by The World Wide Web as a measure and means of not only filling in blank spaces but also respect, perhaps to the heroes that are sung about manly in the Technology sector.

So I should use this blank space to say Thank You a;;; first of all for this wonderful space that allows me to Pur in some good vibes and thoughts that may open our collective mind space.

Regards,

Parth Raj Rana aka Gopi as my dear ones address me as.

Flat 80 JDM Apartments(Music Room) Dwarka Sector 5 Plot 11.

Dwarka New Delhi, India 110075

Phone 9958862490

Instagram @reallyparthrana X.Com : ParthRRana

My Experience With Working Out.

It has been a year since I started working out and I am addicted to Gymming!

Besides ally escapades I found Physical excercise a very very lucrative high for me to be chasing, mostly because it is trackable by numbers and that is what makes it all the more interesting.

Since the year 2023 I started working out:

I started making food for myaself

Eggs, fruits, smoothies and Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches were and still are my primary source of protein and carbs.

I stopped smoking. Completely to a halt I interrupted the vicious cycle and quite literally killed my addiction.

I started lifting weights and chasing numbers in cardio excercise. Very recently I concluded a week long Run averaging more than 20000 steps per day and 10 miles per stint.

I Look good, my Body is coming into shape I feel good and more importantly now aware of my body mind connection and how to utilise it to rage through Blitzes like the one I speak of.

I achieved top 3 percentile all over the world for my age group in the average number of steps taken during a day all over the world!

I stopped drinking chai.

I learnt to respect my body mind and belly. Fed it with lots of good thoughts, nourished it with clean, light and fresh food.

From May 2023 till this date I am pushing for more and more due to the newfound energy source I found within myself I found myself to be tapping into.

It is amazing what all your nosy can do when you put it to work.

Trust your body and yourself and give a month to a gym near you(if you haven't already).

Stay fit and of sound body and mind.

Parth Raj Rana åka Gopi

Instagram @reallyparthrana

http://www.facebook.com/parthrrana

Phone 9958862490

Address : 80 JDM Apartments(music room) The Room With FnD Speakers ask for Gopi Plot 11 Sector 5 Dwarka Delhi India

Monday, July 15, 2024

Hi I am Parth and This is my Blog.

This shall begine with the state of my life currently as it is.

Sonce this is the very first p, i would like to say that I am alive. Facing a whole lot of emotional philosophical Nd idealistic upheavalsbut I have to live through it, doing the best i can to make the best of life that i am living.

i work out stay fit, keep my brain busy with activities that may be termed as productive or add to the quality of the bature of existence.

my eye sight is weak to Read small letters so i have a pair of glasses in fact several but far from 20/20. I do frequent the gym i started climbing trees and pursue many hobbies or activities to while away my time often lamenting a love interest although i feel like i am in love all the time. But often it seems that the world wants to break my illusion or enchantment.

i applied for many many jobs over the past 5 years nothing seems to come through so i am surviving on 15 thousand inr per month

I soend my days speaking with artificial intelligence systems but often end up pouring my emotions into these conversations.

i have several journals .… Evernot, Penzu, the many notebooks i initially kept for learning languages then because a record of my days as spent due to speaking with a shrink.

I dont hit back still :(

As a part if my core ethos whoch onnever defined brw i do ot close fists still. I am speaking of my step mother.

I found blogger in the gsuite bundle that i had never really touched except for giving it a title Why God, Why? I renamed this to An Amazing life in hopes to improve this experience that i am going through.

Stjll at my residenxe 80 jdm apartments dwarka Delhi i made this when i was in bengali market.

I do excercise my right to opinion amd life and love still.

I cant say why but i have held on to this idea or belief or a world in my mind that is bereft of all the negativity that manages to seep in to my brain, i am often told that the world is the way it is you just navigate your way through it. Fond the ones that you vibe with and love it. Defeatists.

This is what it is and it will be what it may. Till the time i have light in my eye i will follow what makes it open wode and stare in wonder.

Still eating medicines. Making sure my health vitals are up.

At the risk of sounding juvenile,

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